I Want To Disappear III: A Hypothesis

The day I disappeared was a great day. It was a year-long duck that finally broke when the Eastern Cruise Company accepted me onboard their Traveler ship. I had been making preparations for my departure for months. I distanced myself from friends and broke off all emotional attachments to the ones I loved. I went off-the-grid socially as best as I could, sticking to the papers as my only source of information.

You see, the reason I was disappearing wasn’t because of my inability to be present in an environment full of disaster and turmoil, but because I no longer felt useful in a world where my use was never acknowledged to begin with. I was tagged a pariah, a burden to my wards, and a mess-up waiting to happen. For years, the authority had made moves on my life. They wanted me gone because I no longer served their righteous purpose.

First, the authority was forward and direct with their intent, they made it known that I wasn’t welcome. Months later they reconsidered because they believed I could be cleansed and perhaps serve their purpose. The public took notice and criticized them for their rash decisions so, they decided to collude against me in private, hoping I would falter. Thus, giving them the motive to discard me.

In silence, they sent messages, and in silence, they made me aware of their disgust. They even sent representatives to alert me of their plans. If I wasn’t going to leave, they would relocate their congregation as far away as possible, and I would be exiled.

Little did they know that I had made the lonely decision of leaving the sacred lands since their first attack on my life. I checked all the right boxes on my application for the “Tinker” at the Eastern Cruise Company. To make sure I wouldn’t be turned down a second time, I struck up a partnership with a dame onboard the prestigious company, and with that support, I was sure to luck my way in.

It has been three years since I disappeared, and the scars from my past life still sting when I lay to rest. My heart longs for emotions that my brain cannot comprehend, and I feel I am being followed by my enemies. I am unsure if I should seek further refuge in the darkness, or use this little light of mine, and burn through life’s betrayal.


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