I Want To Disappear II: A Hypothesis

You’ve had many houses but, you’ve never had a home. You’ve had many friends but, never one to call your own. It has been a long journey getting to you. Every path taken has been neutered either by sabotage or rare circumstance of life. Sometimes you wonder if you were meant for this kind of challenge. Sometimes you wonder if you dared to overcome. you just want to disappear.

You don’t think your persona is a mistake, you’ve never doubted it. You’ve come so far in such a brief time and worked so hard to get to your current position but, you want to disappear.

Every challenge you have faced and conquered has birthed challenges even harder than before so, you want to leave it all behind, and just disappear.

 You want to go far away, so far that the very existence of yourself is a dramatic mystery, an idea that never became real nor was it ever there. You crave peace because you deserve it but, what is peace? Where was peace when your mind battled itself, at war with everything, with me? You want to disappear.

The thought of it excites you – yet the thought of carrying out the plan frightens you. You will lose everything and everyone if you can’t get past yourself. It feels like a game, an experiment, and one that you want nothing to do with. you want to disappear.

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