Therapist
When you go to bed at night, do you have these thoughts?
Jen
Yeah.
Therapist
When you wake up in the morning, do those same thoughts linger?
Jen
Every time.
The therapist scribbled into the notebook, took a sip of the tea on the end table, and let out a sigh as Jen waited patiently.
Jen had an idea, one that would make her immortal if she pulled it off. She thought that if everyone she knew made changes in their lives, she would have to come up with something grand that would match the level of effort her peers were putting into the new order. She wanted to have the respect of a healer and the whelm of a preacher, but she was neither a healer nor was she a preacher. Her mother branded her the mess-up of the family after she dropped out of law school. She was good enough for processing thoughts, but not smart enough to act on those impulses.
It was settled, she would be the one to quell hearts filled with malice and provoke the very nature of an order determined to continue in the ways of past failures. She ventured within, sometimes losing her way when she got pulled back into the new world. The theory behind the idea was based on her dissatisfaction with the way the new governing body revered people of old, the same people who destroyed the world. Their lies hung on every dictator’s speech; their principles were followed religiously by every would-be messiah. She was done with all of it, this world must find something new to harp unto, and she believed she was the one to bring this to light.
It’s been ten years now, and she’s still searching. The new world feels like the old one, except it looks new. She’s even more of a mess-up with nothing to show for her defiance. The ideas bear no fruits. She’s like everyone else, wanting to be different, with nightmares that taunt her in her sleep.
Therapist
Well, it’s only been a decade, you might just have another decade in you. Might as well keep going till you find it because I don’t think the “thought” will ever go away until you’ve found it. However, may I suggest stopping every now and then to embrace the things along the journey, they could possess more than you’ve ever imagined.
The therapist concludes as she sips some of the tea. Jen ponders for a bit, and dives within.
Knomad Films° 